Lola Adesioye

You may have asked yourself the question above at some point. You know, you are at work and the guy who is the Managing Partner of your firm doesn’t seem to be anything special to you. Yet, he’s the Managing Partner, making wayyy more money than you, with way more power and influence.

Or how about that woman who is number 1 in the charts and is splashed all over the cover of every magazine? She’s an average singer with average looks from your perspective, but she’s massively wealthy and famous. What’s so special about her then?

Or what about the person you went to school with who get worse grades than you but is now a superstar entrepreneur?

Many of us have wondered how this kind of thing happens.

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“When somebody asks you to be realistic, they’re asking you to compromise your ideals, your dreams. Never compromise your dreams. Never.” – Robert Mack

There should be a law that prohibits people from not being fully themselves. If you are not being your total wonderful magnificent self, you receive a fine.

Well, actually you already receive a natural type of fine when you’re not being who you really are.

You know how you feel inside when you shrink back so as not to overwhelm or overpower people, or out of fear?

Or that lump in your throat you get when there’s something you know you have to say to someone yet you don’t say it out of fear of what that person may think of you?

Or the diminished sense of self you experience when you think of all of the passions you could be pursuing instead of working in a job you hate? » Read more…

Wow. Hmmm… This is probably the most self-revelatory blog post I have ever written. And it’s hard. I’m scared. And I’m doing it anyway.

In 5 months time, I’ll be 30. I’m big on birthdays. For some it’s just a number. To me, another year is another milestone, a time to create something new and be thankful for where I have come to. 30 is a big one.

It’s time for me to give up childish ways and step fully into womanhood. And so far, the journey to 30 (from 29) has been all about that. Every limiting belief I’ve ever had has reared its ugly head and stared me in the face. Thankfully I’m able to see it, get that it doesn’t work, and move past it. And the ability to do that is happening faster and faster each day.

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The BP oil spill has everyone focussed on the environment again. There’s  lot of anger, hopelessness and upset about yet another issue that seems to be leading to global environmental death and destruction.

The other day someone asked me what I thought about what’s happening in the world from an environmental perspective (BP oil spill not included). I said I didn’t believe everything that I was hearing.

Now, I’m no scientist so my view on what’s going on in the world is my own – although I know that some Ecopsychologists are also of the same mindset.

There’s no doubt that we humans are creating environmental issues. We have come to believe ourselves to be so separate from nature – seemingly either forgetting or just lacking awareness of the role that we are supposed to play while we are alive – that we have been operating as if we are somehow outside of the ecosystem and if our actions have no impact on our local or global environment.

In my view, we are no different from any other life form in that we are here to further our species and contribute to the growth and evolution of the earth and the universe – we just have language and a more developed brain than most (although unfortunately we have got stuck acting like survival-instinct-based reptiles rather than homo sapiens!). We are simply part of the ecology of the earth, designed to keep it going, no different from the birds, bees, trees, flowers, ants, worms and so on.

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On a post I wrote some time ago about stereotypes of Africa in the media, one of my readers made a comment that I thought was spot on. He wrote:

Lola, the big part of the problem is with us Africans, lies within our own perceptions of our own selves as Africans….If we can change that, I strongly believe we can influence the Western perspective and perception of Africa in a more positive way, and, my guess is, there will be less steriotypes directed to[wards] Africa and Africans.

Big head nod from me on that one. I agree.

There’s no doubt that the image of Africa perpetuated by powerful media sources from outside the continent is in dire need of a shift. But as someone who believes that power comes from within, and that each of us has to BE the change we want to see (that is, that we are response-able rather than being at the effect of what others do), I am led to ask how we Africans see ourselves and talk about ourselves and what impact that has on us.

Yes, others may represent us poorly, but how do we view ourselves? Yes, others may talk about us as fraudsters, criminals and corrupters, but do we talk about ourselves in the same terms?

If we do not have an image of ourselves and our continent that is empowering, it is unlikely that anyone else will have an empowering view of us either. More importantly, if we are not empowered we cannot and will not take empowered actions.

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As the World Cup gets underway, each day I’ll presenting at least one positive perspective on Africa and something that’s going on that I think will be of interest to you.

Today I’m presenting an award-winning documentary film called Football Fables which has recently opened in London. Hopefully we can get it to come to New York, and other cities, too.

It’s written, produced and directed by British-Ghanian filmmaker Baff Akoto and is described as a film which “lifts the lid on African football migration.” It presents the stories of “some of the best young talent in the world – and the middle men who earn a living making sure their cream rises to the top.”

I must admit I have not seen it, but the trailer looks great, and now is a great as time as any to take a look into the reality of what it takes for a young African from a rural area to make it to the big leagues. If you’re in London, check it out.

Africa has been on my mind a lot today. One reason is that one of my closest friends is getting married in Kenya and I’m not there. The second is that another good friend is currently on a plane on the way to Johannesburg for the World Cup in South Africa. I said last year that I’d go, but didn’t organize myself well enough and hence I’m still here in NYC!

With these two events I have been reminiscing on my time spent in South Africa (I lived there in ’06) and also just looking at what Africa means to me in general. Although I’m Nigerian, I was born and raised in the UK and did not go to Nigeria until I was in my late twenties. Living in South Africa was, therefore, a new experience for me.

I had an unexpected awakening when I lived in South Africa. There is an inexplicable sense of pride, connection and inner-rootedness (I know that’s not a word) that occurs when you are surrounded by people who look like you, particularly when you have grown up in the West.

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One of my dilemmas in life has been that I am multi-talented and multi-dimensional. A strange dilemma perhaps, but a dilemma nonetheless. It’s one that I have struggled with and suffered over…until now.

My ‘issue’ has been that I’m entrepreneurial, creative, a thinker, analytical, I can speak well, write well, think well, I play instruments, speak languages, I’m extrovert and introvert, I’m right brain and left brain. And, I have a lot to say about a lot of things – politics, society, culture, pyschology, spirituality, career, relationships, money etc. And I can talk about them well, with insight and depth. The list goes on.

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The Hunger Project is an organization which empowers people to end their own hunger and poverty. Yes, you heard that right – they work with people to end their own hunger and poverty.

I met with them last week, and am massively inspired by what they do and their commitment to people and the planet. They are doing amazing work around the world, transforming people, communities and societies. In five to six years, people can go from being starving and poor to having self-sustaining communities which they themselves created along with The Hunger Project. Five or six years is no time at all. The Hunger Project does radical, revolutionary and vital work.

Heal the world = Heal people

The premise of The Hunger Project (one which I believe in whole heartedly) is that the solution to persistent issues – that is, the way to ensure that such issues are transformed and do not re-occur – is empowering people. It is not about giving people food or money, but about providing them with the tools (I’m not talking physical tools alone by the way, I’m talking spiritual, emotional, psychological, economic, social and in whichever other form they may come) to produce and create their own.

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