Lola Adesioye

Jacob Zuma and his wives – African embarrassment or victim of colonial media mentality?

Lola — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 14:47:34 +0000

Is Jacob Zuma, with his 4 wives and 20 children an embarrassment to Africa and Africans? Is he setting a bad example to the citizens of the country he leads based on his relationship status? Or, should we all be focussing on more important issues rather than treating Zuma’s life as if is it’s latest episode of a reality TV show?

If Jacob Zuma is to be called into question as a leader, there are some things that are more serious and troubling. His belief that HIV can be washed off in the shower, for example. That is certainly questionable for a man who leads a country with such a high HIV rate. But as regards his wives and many children, not so much.

Zuma isn’t breaking the law of his land. Apparently the women have consented to the arrangement, they are all adults, and one of his sons even released a statement in February saying that he is happy to have that many siblings and to share his father amongst them.

While polygamy is seen as outdated and even amoral in the west, it isn’t viewed as such everywhere else. The argument that polygamy reinforces patriarchy also doesn’t wash – there are still millions of women who feel disempowered and oppressed within monogamous marriages.

Monogamy and polygamy are just two different family and relationship structures, neither inherently good nor bad, nor better or worse than another. The view that he is wrong simply for practising his own tradition smacks, to me, of a colonial mentality where everything is judged against some apparently objective moral yardstick.

Isn’t Zuma just adding to the negative stereotypes about Africa?

However, this does further fuel stereotypes about Africans (men, in particular) and Africa. Unfortunately that doesn’t necessarily have much to do with Zuma. That’s to do with a media already obsessed with looking at Africa through a lens that caricatures the continent as backwards and uncivilized, and one relishes a story that can fit into that narrative. The UK’s Daily Mail (not the highest quality publication, let’s be honest), for example, ran a piece in which Zuma was described as a “vile buffoon” next to a photo of him dressed in traditional clothing. It’s just part of the same-old African story of hyper sexualized, uncivilized men and suppressed women.

Zuma’s polygamy is misrepresented in the media as being a regular African occurrence. Polygamy isn’t even practised, or supported, by many Zulu people let alone many Africans.

This is only international news because those who shape the media have decided that it should be so. Forget Zuma’s calls for sanctions to be lifted in Zimbabwe, forget about looking at the future of the ANC or the future of South Africa. All of that has got a great deal less attention than his family.

And let’s compare how he is being treated to the treatment of Silvio Berlusconi or, say, Bill Clinton. They definitely bore the brunt of media attention for their indiscretions – and let’s face it, these were men who had extra marital affairs which were not consented to by their wives, and there were prostitutes involved in Berlusconi’s case – yet were not, and still are not, seen as being representatives of entire societies, even though there are other Western leaders who can be mentioned who do the same. This isn’t though about who is right or wrong. It is just worth nothing the difference in terms of how their actions are represented in the media.

If the focus really is on Zuma’s image as a leader, all leaders need to be held to the same standards.

I don’t believe in polygamy. I also don’t believe in stereotyping.

Lola’s thought for the day: Slow Down

Lola — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 21:57:21 +0000

We live in a hyper fast world. Emails, text messages, IM’s, Facebook chats and tweets are delivered in a second. Speed is the order of the day, and we want to do more in a shorter period of time. What where does this leave us? It can leave us stressed, frazzled, and not to mention unfulfilled. Isn’t it a paradox that the more stuff you fill your life with, and the faster you go the emptier you can feel? And what’s the point of the job titles, the money, the clothes and whatever else if you don’t have peace of mind, joy and contentment?

It’s a wonder that despite the evidence to the contrary – just look at some of the highest profile people in our society – we seem unable to really see that doing more and having more is not the key to happiness. The key to happiness is quite simple – it’s just to be happy. Yes, right now, where you are with what you have.

The only thing that has an influence on your experience of life is your state of being. And your state of being is a choice. If you choose to be miserable about something, that will have a particular experience of life that involves misery and suffering. If you choose to be joyful, you will have a joyful experience of life – regardless of your circumstances.

The main key to all of this is that you can only experience life right now. We are often so concerned about getting ‘there’ that we fail to look at who we are being here! There is no ‘there’ to get to, no someone to become. Slow down, be present, and be happy with who you are. Today. Here. Now.

Opportunity knocks for Sarah Palin

Lola — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 17:29:51 +0000

This is my latest piece for The Guardian:

Sarah Palin speaks during the Tea Party convention in Nashville, Tennessee. Photograph: Josh Anderson/Reuters

Sarah Palin may not know that Africa is a continent, but if there is knowledge that she is not lacking, it’s a canny ability to spot, and seize, any opportunity that will propel her into the spotlight.

Palin’s delivery of the keynote speech at this weekend’s Tea Party convention in Tennessee was a reminder that it was not, and is not likely to ever be, substance nor innovative ideas that characterise her mainstream political career. What gets Palin ahead is her way of maximising and exploiting what are, essentially, gaps in the market for her own gain.

One gap that was open, and seemingly filled by Palin on Saturday night, was leadership of the fledgling Tea Party movement. Both the movement and Palin have been branded, and ridiculed by commentators and politicians, as hollow and devoid of any substance; both are seeking to assert themselves as legitimate political forces.

You can read the rest of the piece here

Lola’s thought for the day: Don’t believe your thoughts or your feelings

Lola — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 18:06:53 +0000

“I think therefore I am” wrote the philosopher Descartes. He could, although he didn’t, have also said “I feel therefore I am”. Most of us believe both statements to be true.

We are conditioned to invest our thoughts and feelings with a great deal of power and credence. The idea is that we must pay attention to, examine, and identify with every thought and feeling that crosses our mind. We actually come to believe that we really ARE – as Descartes said – our thoughts and feelings.

On any given day, our mood can range from high to low, based on what thoughts are going through our mind at any time. If your mind says “I feel bad” then you start feeling bad. If your mind says “I feel good” then you start feeling good.

There is nothing wrong with this, it is just worth being aware that for the most part, we do not consciously choose which thoughts and feelings we are going to have, nor do we tend to be conscious of where they are coming from. They arise and we simply buy into them. For the most part, we do not have thoughts, they have us!

I assert that we are not our thoughts nor our feelings. We can’t be. By virtue of knowing that we have thoughts and feelings, we cannot be them. So, who are we beyond thoughts and feelings?

What if the things you felt and thought weren’t true? What if they were just old conditioned responses from the past, created when you were a child, that you just continue to repeat over and over again as an adult?

What would your life be like if you simply stopped giving some much power to your thoughts, if you didn’t have to follow each one as it arose? What if you chose those which gave you power and left alone those that didn’t?

What would your life be like if you could just observe your thoughts, see them for what they are – just some thoughts – and allow them to pass on by, while you attend to what you are here to do? Live!

For today join me in taking on allowing your thoughts to arise, observing them and letting them pass…

Beyond thinking lies peace!

Lola’s thought for the day – Embracing uncertainty leads to new possibilities!

Lola — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 18:36:18 +0000

How do you feel when you don’t know something? Do you welcome uncertainty, or do you feel that you need to be – or at least act as if you are – certain, sure and have it all together? How comfortable are you with not knowing?

As humans, we rate knowledge highly and we often hold on – tightly – to what we know. Listen to people debating religious or political beliefs and you’ll see what I mean. Or, see how many of us respond to a circumstance such as unemployment. We could see those times as opportunities to learn something new, grow and undertake new endeavours rather than threats or things to be feared.

Not knowing can, and often does, induce fear and panic. However, contrary to what we have been conditioned to believe, not knowing is a wonderful place to stand. It is an opportunity and a space of creation.

Little is possible when you think you know everything already and believe that you already have all the answers. Not knowing begs the question “what’s possible?”

If you took away everything you ever knew, what would be available to you? If you stand in a space of not knowing today – since, in fact, we never really know anything for sure – what’s possible for your life?

Lola’s thought for the day – what are you saying about your life today?

Lola — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 15:35:32 +0000

There are two components to life: what happens, and what you say about that. What happens is just what happens. What you choose to say about what happens has the most impact on the quality of your life. And your word in the matter of your life is *always* your choice. What are you saying about your life today?

Haiti and why media coverage of tragedies sucks!

Lola — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 14:25:32 +0000

Recently I have begun advocating for a new approach to media output. I would like to see a media that is focussed on looking at solutions, rather than just regurgitating scary and titillating images and statistics (or sometimes speculation, rumours and misinformation) which don’t help the people/situation being discussed and leave those watching, reading or listening feelings depressed and helpless.

With a 24 hour news cycle we have even more need to look again at the nature of media output. There is an opportunity, with such a wide window, to introduce new approaches. We can start to look not just at we’re putting out, but why and what for?

The media coverage surrounding the situation in Haiti has been pretty interesting, and has really highlighted to me the need for a shift. Every hour of every day we are given the estimates of how many people have died. We have been shown some of the most horrendous photos and video images of people caught in the disaster. People who have sought to help Haitians, like Wyclef, are being treated with suspicion and are being subjected to media gossip. Pastors and prominent personalities are coming out and making heartless statements… and we are now being given predictions of violence and unrest.

What is the point of all of that? What does all of that ‘information’, speculation and comment actually count for? Seeing bodies, hearing about death toll estimates, having commentary on the shoulda, woulda and coulda’s, and people giving their predictions of what might happen (which are usually the most negative things) do not help me, do not help those with family and friends in Haiti and certainly do not help Haiti.

All of this passes for ‘news’ and information, but isn’t it about time we start looking at what exactly constitutes news, and why? I’m not saying we shouldn’t give people the facts, but after the facts have been given, what benefit is there to repetition and embellishment of them?

We could give 2 hours of facts, for example, and 22 hours of great ideas and solutions about what we can all do to help not only the Haitian community, but any other community that needs help, or indeed just making our world, societies and communities a better place.

We cannot underestimate the power of the media when it comes to shaping public discourse and private conversation, as well as influencing the feelings and ideas that people have about the kind of environment and world in which they live in. So, those who produce and create media would do well to start questioning what the role of the media is, what the need for a particular type of output is, what effect that output may have, and what new approaches can be employed.

It is great to see stars and celebrities using their media power in these times to raise money, and so on. But it has to go beyond this. I think it’s time that we start having a media that is a great deal more socially responsible and conscious and uses its power and influence for the greater good. In a time of tragedy the necessity for that becomes even more apparent.

Happy Martin Luther King Day and why we must keep on dreaming

Lola — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 20:20:33 +0000

Happy Martin Luther King day! I wrote a piece for The Guardian – “King dream meets Obama’s reality” - on Obama’s first year in office and what it means for Martin Luther King’s vision for America.

The crux of the piece is that one person cannot singlehandedly change everything, particularly in the space of one year. We all need to be involved and take responsibility for having the dream come to life, not just the President. I also wrote that MLK’s vision – part of which was that America would hold “self-evident, that all men are created equal” - will not be totally fulfilled until “…the notion that “all men are created equal” come[s] to life as an integral part of American beliefs, such that all America’s systems – educational, economic and the rest – continue to change to reflect that.” Have a read!

Dr King’s focus on equality is very important. We can change healthcare policies, education policies, change laws and adopt new practices, but if they are changed on top of an already-existing notion that people are inherently unequal, the same issues will be perpetuated and continue.

Why we must keep on dreaming

What really inspires me about Martin Luther King is that he created and spoke a dream and a vision that bore little or no resemblance to the circumstances that he was faced with at the time. His dream – and the way that it continues to live on – tells us a lot about the power of one’s word, and the power (or lack thereof) of circumstances.

I have no doubt that when Dr King gave his “I have a dream” speech, he had no idea how exactly the dream would be achieved. He probably didn’t know the details nor the exact steps that needed to be taken. He also had a reality which was not at all in line with what he believed to be possible. His circumstances – the America of 1963 – were of oppression, denial of rights, conflict, violence and inequality not of the freedom, peace, connection and equality of which he spoke. Yet, he believed that his vision could become reality and took steps – in the face of the most horrendous of circumstances – to make that real.

We can all learn a lot from that act alone. Often we have dreams or visions that we do not express or do not act on because we look at our circumstances and believe that our dreams cannot come true in the light of circumstances. Often we feel stopped, resigned, beaten down or victimized by our circumstances. And if we do decide to go ahead and take action, we become stopped when we aren’t sure exactly which steps we need to take.

What I have learned from Dr King is that circumstances do not matter. There will always be circumstances to deal with. If you have a dream for your life, or for the world, speak it. Share it. Talk about it. Believe in it. Act on it. And if you don’t know the exact steps, do it anyway. Once you commitment to something and share your commitment with others, doors will open.

Martin Luther King was an incredible man who didn’t allow himself or his vision for his country to be hindered by what was going on around him. Today I commit to the same, for my life and for the world.

Lola’s Thought For The Day

Lola — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 16:15:24 +0000

When you die, what will you leave behind? You’re creating your legacy right now…Make it count!

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The presence of each and every one of us on this earth makes a difference. YOU make a difference. Not only do you impact the quality of your own life, you impact the quality of the lives of others, and the quality of life itself on this earth. You have that kind of power.

What quality of life are you and your actions creating today? And what kind of quality of life will you create tomorrow? It’s for you to choose and to create.

When you die, you will leave behind your creations. A word you say today – whether uttered out of love, or anger – can go on to make a difference for years and generations to come. A gesture – whether kind or unkind – can alter someone’s experience of life. Choose your words and actions with care.

You will leave behind a world in which others will continue to inhabit. Who you are matters not only for your life, but the lives of others to come.

Sign the Charter for Compassion

Lola — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 03:59:03 +0000

How about committing to compassion in 2010? It’s not a quality that we talk about very often - and perhaps in our modern world, it’s not one that is much lauded. But I strongly believe that compassion for self and others would make a profound impact on our world. We’d be able to forgive our own and others’ humanity, rather than blaming, shaming, getting angry, being defensive or judgmental. Peace, understanding, intimacy and connection – and dare I say, unconditional love – is possible with compassion.

At the end of the day, peeps, we are all just humans, carrying our experiences, our baggage and our belief systems with us – and we all make mistakes! Regardless of your ethnic background, country of origin, class, age, gender, income, status or height, being human – with all of our flaws and foibles – is one thing we ALL share.

As the Charter for Compassion says: “We urgently need to make compassion a clear, luminous and dynamic force in our polarized world. Rooted in a principled determination to transcend selfishness, compassion can break down political, dogmatic, ideological and religious boundaries. Born of our deep interdependence, compassion is essential to human relationships and to a fulfilled humanity. It is the path to enlightenment, and indispensible to the creation of a just economy and a peaceful global community.”